Theresa

Theresa died two nights ago. Her mom called me yesterday morning from Chicago: "You have a Guardian Angel Molly!" There had been the waiting these last two months. There had been the holding. There had been the grief, the almost sadness.
That morning getting ready for work I sat and prayed, I prayed for her, he rose in my mind thicker than most times, like syrup. I thought "Oh i never pray for Theresa. Theresa!" with a connection, with a deepness and more stillness than I usually ever can accomplish in the morning. Like finding her. Like having her there (just subtley but I'm trying to describe here)

And then I got the call at work that she died the night before in her Mom's arms. I strolled around behind LuLu's near the McPherson center in the litle patio area. And I wasn't talking like I usually do, with God, or with myself.

Rather, I was feeling something rise. i was seeing little starts of something in the back of my mind. I was being reassured. It was beautiful. There was a feeling of like "Wow, she's there. Almost like a belonging."

Big Gladness has been bubbling over with the weight too the weight off loss, but big yesness. all i can say is its very kingdom-come feeling.
And that night and next morning the music was holding me.
Music kept double taking me. Like a very obvious catching of my attention over and over again.


First at my desk at work:
Send me an angel
This morning
All this fleetwood mac.
Fleetwood mac I had never heard. Everything was in timing with me was holding what I was trying to do was, like the music was holding me up. telling me it was going to be Ok.

I was all frantic. I was all behind to mail my dad's bday gift, get to post office, go to longs, pick up my pants, go to the bank, with under hour to do it and go to airport.
But then Stevie Nix came on with "On the Edge of Seventeen" with that bad ass guitar charging with me in teh car.
The lyrics "Just like the one-winged dove --Sings a song --Sounds like she's singing-- Oooh oooh oooh baby"

Yes theresa, we went around Indianapolis blaring "Gypsy" and "Rhiannon" and listening to Fleetwood driving around parking lots in the thunder storm. On our way to see the movie Sex and the City. The songs then too were saying exactly what was happening. "it's like thunder and lightning" with huge lightning slashing the sky.