praise be

Last night the best night
Home in the kitchen, Liz getting her lesson plans ready for the week, Our macs side by side, me burning my driving music.
Tibi came home
And Lauryn's "To Zion" came on and we danced to it together, swinging our arms, reveling in the words:
Unsure of what the balance held
I touched my belly overwhelmed
By what I had been chosen to perform
But then an angel came one day
Told me to kneel down and pray
For unto me a man child would be born
But everybody told me to be smart
Look at your career they said,
"Lauryn, baby use your head"
But instead I chose to use my heart

Now the joy of my world is in Zion
Now the joy of my world is in Zion

How beautiful if nothing more
Than to wait at Zion's door
I've never been in love like this before
Now let me pray to keep you from
The perils that will surely come
See life for you my prince has just begun
And I thank you for choosing me
To come through unto life to be
A beautiful reflection of his grace
For I know that a gift so great"

So good, and words of coming into Zion. And wondering if God is taking me into his New Land, if this move and love and change is for coming to Zion. (Like my God mom once said earlier this year, in wonder if this would be the someday New Land)

So we were dancing.

Then amazingly, Tibi found a way to maybe work out the conflict with Liz. I had been praying this in the bathroom and in my house. Liz was almost to move out, and I was talking to them both one by one. I said to T "What if there was an option J" and a sweet "Oh yeahness" was coming to turn. Its like the whole situation was turning. So Liz might stay. I'm so happy.

And then Juan came over, Tibi and Juan and I made a video to The Fugees.

Then i went to bed, astounding night. I woke up happy lighter. Forgetting what day it was, then realizing Wow, THIS is the day.

Last days Santa Cruz

Friday:
My last day of work yesterday, finally the anxiety lifted and heart pains stopped.

Then fixing my car, fixing the top. How ironic the same day!

Ramona's--thats my car- Convertible Top fixed.
Freedom from jOb and freedom for my car!

Driving with the top down with Liz my new roomie down East Cliff. And the song Umbrella came on, a reMix. i love this song one of my favorites. A song from 07 that I loved. that always makes me feel so invincible and found and loved and like all things are possible.
It goes:
"That's when you need me there,
When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella"

Went to Crow's Nest. Had the best meal. Came home top down busting MJ, "Bad"
So happy with the top down!
feeling all so heroic.
stayed up with Liz dancing to hip-hop on her itunes. She has the best stuff. dream for my ipod.

Went to kickbo with Liz the next day and had the best morning at Walnut cafe after.


Rae
Had the funnest latest night with Rae. Came with anxiety and heart hurting, but brought tea Roibois Chai for her birthday. and chocolate mouse. Her brother Glen stood in the middle of the room and started ripping on the guitar. I picked up Sean's violin and started playing with Glen. It had been months since I played

Then Rae grabbed a book of Alice and Chains sheet music and we all played this dark beautiful song and Rae sang and I tried to keep up with the chords.

Then Rae and I stayed up till 2 am watching You tube music videos of Alice and Chains and Nirvana and 90s videos and clips of "My So Called Life".

Vintage
had a good good bye at vintage

my Podiatrist said it

I saw my podiatrist today, my original. Dr. Kraft, she is great, I really like her. She said something really good today. I hadn't seen her in months after going to another doctor who finally did the 4th and final procedure on my little toe. But now my other foot is hurting, and the other big toe nail was starting to hurt.
Anyway she fixed me up, and she was so excited about Seattle,
And she said "You know, sometimes if your heart strings are lit up..." and said something about when your heart is lit in what you're doing... and we were talking about how I want to help people to heal, but it's also when my heart strings are lit up that i can really help heal people.

And I thought that was so right. That was one of the best ways I've heard it said. somehow it was like a really big yes to me today about going. it was the simplest thing but it really cut and made succint the total yes for going now. And I told her about my stroke I had when i was little, and being paralyzed and all that craziness that feels like dream. but it was a happy quick telling, with astonishment felt on both sides. And "you have to go! see" words said

Garage Sale and a New Room

Yesterday I moved out of my Room. it's been chaotic, a game of magical Rooms with Alice taking my Room, me moving into the Study/Guest Room (for temporary) and the new girl Liz moving into Alice's room, and getting rid of all my big stuff, and going through the attic and pulling out all this stuff out of Attic I had never seen since I moved in and a Garage Sale.



Now I'm listening to Bridge Over Troubled Water on my little portable Record player (that I got in Seattle and brought home in my suitcase) it's orange.

What a swell of beauty and safeness and goodness last night
Alice moved into my room and amongst all HER boxes and she found Her simon and Garfunkel tape casette of Bridge over Troubled Water

"Bridge over troubled water
I would lay me down.
Sail on Silver Girl
Sail on By
Your time has come
to Shine
all your dreams are on your way.
See how they Shine --whoa
if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I would ease your mind
like a bridge over troubled water
I would ease your mind"

Oh Simon I love you in this Song.

And my memories almost seeping from the ceiling of something good memories and thoughts from listening to this album many times over years.

I feel so free right now. all my boxes around me in my study, organizing all my papers and photos in smaller and smaller boxes, finding scraps of paper, notes from gramma, notes from friends in camps, pictures of Molly in High School and plays with her long hair and Cowgirl hat on. Pictures of David and Sarah and barbies at Kresge

GARAGE SALE
What beautiful encounters yesterday. We met the nicest people at the Garage Sale. I thought all this would be sadder, but it's been like this unlifting, unpulling out of where I've lived for so many years.

There was
Philip
this nice guy with wild curly hair, almost bought my Technic Record player but we plugged it in and found it didn't work. Turned out his dad was a deacon, and he was best friends with Chris Durso since 4th grade, and we talked about Vintage he had never been yet. He was a linguistic major at UCSC a couple years ago. I told him about Mars Hill. He had studied Arabic. I showed him my Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, he had never seen it, we drooled over letters and the roots and the Hebrew. He was so nice!

Frederick
Frederick came near the end, a little bit older guy with his daughter, He was So nice, he was being the greatest daddy with his daughter. Really kind to her when he spoke and gracious and sweet. He bought my Mixer that people kept picking up and putting back b/c the Fader was broken. Finally "how about 10 bucks!" and he took it. We talked about DJing and he told me about this program. He said he would look at my orange Record player which plays all my records subtley fast.

The lady with the big red hair
she almost bought my Winter Wool Sweater from high school, the brown in the sweater looked so good, I brought her inside to look at the mirror. She said it wasn't "Her" and I knew what she meant. B/c I thought the same thing about it on me. It looked good, but wasn't quite right.

White
is your name? I asked her twice. she was Asian, "Im your new neighbor!" she told me. She was so nice. and Tibi asked her too when she introduced herself. "Like the color?" "Yes."
She was so nice introducing herself, almost like she was excited to meet us. She just moved in and no furniture. Bought my side tables and weird whicker little table. Her husband pulled up in a big "church of Korea" van to bring her money to buy all the little things. How cool, they must have a Church.