Forgiving from Across the Street

Today there is Sorrow. Telling people that I am leaving. That it is Yes with Seattle. Like a foreign block coming out of my mouth. Tibi is going through change in relationship. We are all heavy at 327, it means we will more than likely all leave. That I am that glue that holds this. Whow.

There is an ache in the middle of my solar plexis.

I decided to go to the beach. I went outside and heard "hello molly" it was my Ex from 2 times ago, the intense relationship that i finally forgave. (on Jourdan street).

And he is still there fixing someones car. Came back and there they still are tinkering across the street on the SUV. It is like a "oh man i need to leave town" but it is also relief. I don't feel overwhelmed. I don't feel freaked out. And I want to even go up to him and say "I forgive you"
i went to the beach and back, it was windy. Now i keeping going back to the kitchen and looking from the window, stunned that he's there.

I am learning about forgiveness. about a month ago c wrote me on facebook and said he was sorry and said I was right, and probably everything I could want to hear. it was gracious, and it was the person I knew. and it was weird to get. i had to totally detach in being from any pull towards thinking about all that that went down. I was so shocked for so long and my mind was so scrambled. I had finally gotten out of the haunting, and the sorrow and the anger.
I was scared to write back, feeling like my response was loaded. At what point I had wanted to be heard so much, I had wanted him to get it. And when I did get the email .... I was so far away from the stinging of it or tangling in it.

So it was just a good release.

but it did teach me about forgiveness, the way his saying i'm sorry was generous to me in a way I never thought I would be met or heard.

It was reconcile.

And I said "Whoa, Gods timing"