Tokens of God

I am inspired by my Godma's nearly finished story she has written, the letter of her coming to Christ as a Jew, as an artist. I am enthralled by her project. I must trace my history with God, here starts the story of how I once followed God's magnificence. Here is blog 1.

I have always been an admirer for the cleverness of God. I used to find God in tokens, and I’d smile at how these tokens were so cleverly handed to me—-
these little presents made especially for me to unwrap and cleave to: a saying, words uttered by a stranger that resonated some truth for me, even favorite numbers, or the surprising familiarity of my Pisces bit in the horoscopes of the Metro paper, or in an elaborate picture with a small spot that encapsulated me, even the winds at times—-the way trees swayed in June when Amma came to town, like God was just saying Hello. God knew how to throw me a rope to tug on, God knew how to inspire me. I was a witness to the beauty of God. I could see God ringing.

Part of the fun I had with God was translating how some small event was a message from God. I took these symbols and I mounted on them. I wondered what mischief God would send me next.

They came like flashes. They were nifty at most, but deep to Miss Me. The metaphors in my Poet head kept rolling and I still have piles of symbols that God scribbled my way. I did my best and collected these moments like charms, I'd wear them like a bracelet and I'd take God with me making all kinds of clangs as I tromped around on my Molly adventures.

I guess my overall sense of God was episodal. God was saying "I see you" in small and lovely ways. But on one hand, it was pretty voyeristic. I'd smile, I'd drift on, or maybe God would drift on. Because that was it: I'd feel a little special, a little seen. God was watching me but not doing anything to really be with me. And I'd collapse as always in hard times.

God was showing up but then saying "Later dude."

And then on the other hand, I had this uncontainable "Oh My God!" to be in the magnificent surroundings of God, like something grand and special was constantly happening, and I got to be the star of this grand opera.

To be Continued. . . .