Just

everything feels just right tonight. I skipped kickboe, my car was in the shop. I picked it up and now it is going much smoother. Today is fall, it is very much fall with winter kicking in. it makes me happy. it makes me happy when it is cloudy. I feel all myself and all contained and the sky is heavy with all kinds of depth and weight, and the sounds seem more pronounced. somehow i think b/c the sky is soggy and holds down everything more on a day like today. the world seems quieter, so now the sounds that do go by really infiltrate me and i can hear the cars passing by from the front of the house, the less busy but still busy market street. the noises, they kind of lag today with the wetness of a city with rain on the way. it's gonna burst anytime now.
soon i get to climb in my red convertable. indeed! my sister gave me her red convertable. a 1990 toyata celica--she's got that long and boxy look. she's fabulously early 90s. the best thing about my crammed life is going places, i get in her with the faux scruffy fur seats and i feel a little more endless. we re rolling now, i just learned stick the weekend i picked it up (Oct 1) in San Francisco which was wild and people drove like maniacs. but i don't think i stalled nearly as many times as yr average whoever would on their first drive considering the steep and senseless ways that San Francisco goes. on my first go i drove my sister to treasure island for her meeting with a couple, she's a wedding photographer. getting off the ramp i went from 5th gear into 2nd gear on a dramatic abrupt left turn that the ramp makes. getting on the island, the manmade island built for the world's fair in the 30s, then was a military base, now is abandoned with old military quarters and then low-income housing. driving around its vast plains i ruminated this spot that i love so. it's a lucky place for me. i was conceived there. (I'm a love-child!) and as I grow, I like that. this impossibility of me. the streets are wide and i took off around Treasure Island's racetrack as it wraps around the base, passing abandoned buildings and gaping huge aircraft stores. this island with no distinct edges, a manmade plateau that spills into the lapping water of the choppy bay. And i too spilled from side to side, gliding around in my new ride. like i could keep going. it's an impossible kind of place