following the donkey in the truck

I can't believe it. Something inside is breaking open. And this morning after Club Baam I was making my way back to work from Scotts Valley. had just been sharing about the guy, and this crazy scarry good thing. Driving behind a truck groggy and halfawake I see what first looks like a dead dear in the back. Then I realize, --No, it's alive, then I realize it is like a donkey or a colt, b/c it wasn't a horse, it was more like a mule. And it was ducking its head there leaning against the tool box at the back of the truck's window. It was ducking its head down to protect from the wind, the truck barreling down the freeway. It was trying to protect its head, and every now and then its head would come up a little.
The Donkey!
The Donkey! There is a donkey in this truck that I am following. This mule, this scraggly animal. It had a black cuff of hair along its spine, all scraggly, tuffts of hair disheveled coming-up on its back. Its ears were weirdish and pointing forward, kindof like some creature from Lord of the Rings. --What an unusual animal--I was thinking. It was the donkey! (I am the donkey you see as my Godma discovered, as I try to carry the Lord in my mopey little way, hardly comprehending the power of what happens when the Lord rides you, and that really is the event the straight way you make it when the Lord is put. The Lord put on you. Or the way I wander, but the way the Lord won't let me go down the wrong path like the OT donkey when the Angel of the Lord blocked his path, gently going "that way, nope. not this way. go back. come along there donkey."
the donkey is about the humility when carrying the Lord, and what the Lord likes to take with, the neverridden, weak little donkey.
The Donkey is in the truck and the bumper sticker on the truck says "Wise Men Still Follow Him"

Wise Men Still Follow Him.

I am Following this truck. that knows about Him. And Following Him. And the humility. And what looks ugly and weak that is the vehicle. the castout. the wild shoot. the little thing breaking out of the concrete. it's not the powerful mighty thing, it's the weakling.

There is a person who is like that like a little pearl in the rough.

And I'm wondering if the Cliff-guy is even a carriage to the Lord. Like I'm starting to wonder if some kind of going with him is making its way to the Lord. is a helping along. (not that he is the gate or anything like that) but that he's on my path. and maybe we would nudge each other, come along. For sure he is not anything that takes me away from the Lord.

Can I learn humility? How much more do I need to enact that, do I get to to follow. do i need to let. do i need to make room. do i need to see beyond the surface. this person is not a hard dude. he keeps totally revealing himself. and me wanting someone dark and mysterious? why is that attractive to me? when that characteristic always becomes unhelpful and untouchable and over-riding of me.

So last night at some point something broke open in me.