a tent

Last night I wanted to share spiritual stuff, "do you want to know anything about me spiritually?" and he declined, it was too personal to talk about. I learned that this is his style. I wanted to tell him about the beginning. about how Jesus when he first spoke to me spoke to me as a DJ.

I didn't feel negative, just a hole. just a big wide and blinking gap. the beat dropped.

And how did you respond Lord? I came home last night and could only find my King James--you were so clever You had a way in mind You wanted to talk to me.

You took me in your tent and you gave me this treasure:

"Thy testimonies are wonderful:
therefore doth my soul keep them.
The entrance of thy words giveth light;
it giveth understanding unto the simple.

I opened my mouth, and panted
for I longed for thy commandments.
Look thou upon me, and be merciful to me,
as thou usest to do unto those that love thy name.

Order my steps in thy word:
and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.
Deliver me from the oppression of man:
so will I keep thy precepts.

Make thy face to shine upon thy servant:
and teach me thy statutes.
Rivers of waters run down mine eyes,
because they keep not thy law."
Psalm CXIX 129

You keep bringing me into you. Everything i feel as loss You speak into. You keep unlocking the rooms. And I know you are there. You know exactly how this brush stroke feels in my soul.

I love how it says:
The entrace of thy words. And I think of how your words almost make a gate all the time. And it isn't just about words being, but words entering and opening everything around them. How your words and the words from You is like this ambulatory knowing that I take. How it gives light, how is gives light to the simple. the simple stuff! I do feel like my mouth is caught open and panting. and longing to touch the world with YOu. And when I speak to You I always feel so received. so surrounded.

Living are all the words in my secret tent. all the places.
Where do i put them?
now I have found this hole and it is without sound.
It is like a vacuum that can be filled by only one thing.
that he cannot enter and i cannot enter and it stays plump and within me.
and it is the best patch that i have.
all i want to do with it is share.