it has become a bit frantic, deadlining Pacific Rim Film Festival and fixing all the last ads.
My boss just talked to me about slowing down, i get tired of everyday being told something. i am pushing and spelling out 110% of me and in the nutty way this job demands. I am getting tired of chasing clients of making clients of convincing of changing ads of resurrecting upsize after upsize.
being tugged and pulled and tugged and chasing...
It was so sweet with Sarah yesterday. She came down to visit from Marin. We saw Michael for Acupuncture, and we were in the most released and dreamy space yesterday. We went to the wharf and it was a long glowy sunset in what is still a hot Indian Summer. It was so dreamy. The Seaotters were lounging below. We love each other, me and Sarah. She has known me for 18 years, since right when I was a shoot of everything I am now. we chuckled about our parents, both knowing each others' so well and the cute way they parent us now.
Today is an anniversary of a big Medical thing I went through, where my life was given back to me. the beginning of tubes and PTs and OTs and my mom sticking by my side and a crooked smile and lapse of memory. it makes me moved like a dent in the tent of my heart, like the beginning of something sad, and amazing at the same time.
oh dear, oh dear dearness I say to this day.
I feel better already this day at work was rough and my usual freak outs. it is like jamming so much to happen, and i am getting a leaking attitude of "it's still not enough" how could that be when i have to go like gangbusters to get so much done and reach my goals and make the ads and reach the clients.
i feel hurt. worn. i'm tired of being tweaked by others. I'm tired of being eaten up.
these are days of being grumpy....
glad tonight my mom comes, any minute.
a much needed little time.
1 comment:
you are a wonderful! a wonder wonder wonderful!!!!
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