How kind are you Lord
i just watched my Baptism Tape for the first time with Erin. I saw myself, and on the bottom of the screen in sepia could see my family holding me afterwards. How much I could cry for this. how much the whole sermon was for me, it was so spunky with a School of Rock clippings, and the rock band. How annointed was the singing and the woman on the piano she led and she was so in awe of the spirit. she spoke of being authentic, how we get to come authentically. I got to watch the faces, and even the NB next to me his eyes went up and he was taken too, and then looking beamingly, or nodding when i said the capital M part, like "oh yeah." like this is so good. he was happy. i looked happy when i stopped speaking. i was shaky when i spoke in a way i liked watching. my words sounded scratchy like the theme of all i said concerning my sore space i came from of incapablity, my voice was like that. so i think that was all part of it.
and i could see my mother's back when everyone circled me, she was leaning in, that shape i know so well, and my sister holding me behind. everyone so given to me. everyone so taken in the spirit, it was so much love that night i could hardly hold it, i could hardly feel it all. everyone was brought there. my heart was so happy.
i am so thankful and i'm somber right now to hold this, to hold this night again and say wow, this is real, here i started, i think that night was really made by god. even in the details that the tape got my family, In the perfect place. i can see them too watching now.
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God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You sent out beyond your recall, go the limits of your longing. Embody me. Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror, Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don't let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand. Rilke
5 comments:
So many gracious things the Lord gives us... like memory. Recollection of our former days of glory, especially when we are at a point when nothing makes much sense or when somehow we think God is distant and not with us, can reveal to us that God calls us not to be anxious (Phil. 4) but to rely on Him and His strength. When we do this Life becomes... well maybe not easier, but always much simpler.
Cool! What an awesome experience! =) Your description is so poetic... more than poetic...
mike =)
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yay! I am glad it turned out. I never know how those things are going to go. Miss youl, the house is so silent. I returned the videos.
my camille, even you were in the video, it was the dvd, so is happly had footage of you making footage.
It was a beautiful, perfect night. Let's make a date. I'd love to re-live it with you.
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