New Ground

Today I unpacked boxes from High School I dug up at my Mom's house. I brought it to my Market Street House to go through and cleanse. And of course were little treasures from my past relationship. My Mission: Tolet go of everything from my High School Sweetheart. There is all was like a time capsule. The one thing I didn't know what to do with was this little Teddy Bear from his babyhood, that I had really liked back in the day. "What do I do with this precious little thing?" I took it in my car. My roomate gave me a plastic bag full of rose petals earlier that day, I was thinking of doing something romantic, but I really had no time. I was rushing about cleansing and pruning all these scribbly notes from High School with hearts and collages and shadow boxes, just throwing it all away. So driving around in my car with the longs bag full of pedals and the teddy bear...."What do I do with this thing?" Going on intuition. I pulled up to my favorite park, behind Longs, the one with the dragon slide and the duck pond and all the trees and grass. and the shade.

Walked across the long long bridge going over the San Lorenzo mucky river into the park. I started throwing rose pedals down into the river. Headed towards the playground. Little girls were playing. Tossing clumps of pedals half way across the park. I thought of putting the bear down near the kids but it was sunny and exposed. I went over near the ducks congregation. The big tress the lush spot. A male and female duck couple coming up to me, right up to me, wanting to know what was in my bag. Right up to me. I headed towards the other ducks and this corner that was sooo lush. so protected. so covered. little flowers and ducks in their happy way. I set the bear down on the edge of the pleasant place, as I walked I felt the shade get deeper and the place get even more pleasant. I was deep in thought and having pleasant drifting thoughts in my head. no rushing, no anxiety, no busy little conversations with myself like I usually do. There were mothers and strollers and i knew that little bear would be picked up so soon. I left the bear at the edge of my pleasant place. I walked back dumping clumps of pedals across the park and tossing them over the bridge. "Christ, christ, christ" I kept speaking on the place and feeling. this gorgeous love throwing down spurting out all along my walk, all along this gate I was making. coming down and becoming the place and blessing. I spoke with each toss of pedals as I went went with bridge over the landscape, I spoke "Christ on the weeds...Christ on the bushes....Christ on the murky water....Christ on the water....Christ on the shore...Christ on the shore."
And I could feel all the love being planted as i walked and went with the landscape. All the gorgeous love and blessing here and here and there.