it's 327 like the time of my block. and I'm feeling much better. went to my car and prayed and closed my eyes and talked all about it with god.
am not feeling torn up inside. talked with the boy and heard about his day and that was good. It is good to hear him.
I still have these places inside. i still am clueless about how to work this instrument. it can only be god to do this. i need god to make the bridge. that is the only way.
God help me to stay right here. but help me to not go cold.
help me to no how to walk. walk with me.
I want to go out to your saddest tree and shake it, shake it like a fig tree that is so easy to climb and shake. I want to get on my hands and knees under you lonesome tree and I want to just sit.
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God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You sent out beyond your recall, go the limits of your longing. Embody me. Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror, Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don't let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand. Rilke
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