going back (prepanicked posts)

Last Sunday I went surfing with Sarah girl, and the goodJosh, and Mr. D. What a rich day. Am learning to surf. Caught a wave. am very content with just lying on board and not even getting to the standing position. i still get that soaring gliding like going, catching that wave. Sarah came close to standing. I took a turn on the boogie board, and was way out. Sarah left to smoke a cig. Josh paddled on. I was out on the boogie board. And then the waves quieted. And I was so far away finally in my own head. And I really like this was a God quieting.
The waves literally held. They stopped breaking. And suddenly i was very aware of God, and very aware i was alone, and very comforted. and for the next 20 minutes not one wave broke. I climbed on the boogie board just a little more, so i fit in a way that was just right. The rejection of the boy B draped on my heart. I kept showing it to God. "OK God, here it is. This is yours. what's up God?" Then I asked God "OK God, What direction do you want me to go?" and right then looked up and this huge formation of birds was going overhead in a perfect V, almost check-mark. And they were close enough that they seemed so big and stretchy and surreal.
The V etching above me huge and going so seemingly fast and smoothly. Just then Josh way to my left (the birds were above on my right) calls out "Molly!!" so i tried to stop watching them to look his way, which i couldn't quite do, couldnt quite let them out of my sights. so i glanced back at him. "I'm going back! Are you OK?" "Yeah Josh! I'm fine! I'm staying here!"
And there it was. I asked God which direction to go and he showed me a flock going in a clear direction, simultaneously my named boomed across the ocean from my friends mouth. my good friend going "Molly!" like God literally took my friend to say to me "Molly!" to say "Follow me! These birds are for you! just follow my direction! whether it is this way or thought, go my clear way.