like the whole patch is gone. all the wonderfulness.
I walked back and forth in the rain downtown today for work, i wanted to call him because that is what i used to do when i strolled....all the ways we worked on it, and made it, and came pressed and in better places. all the forgiveness and loving and praying....what is the point now? everything suddenly ended and stripped.
there is nothing to share! what?
today i am remembering.
there is still solace, and i feel allowed to be who i am again ..... and all the anxiety as stopped, but all the piles and mounds of wonderfulness and coming through for each other and building things together, even if we did smash each other's logo-lands down over and over again. we still liked rebuilding and playing and conquering each other. what do we throw away all each other's logos?
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God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You sent out beyond your recall, go the limits of your longing. Embody me. Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror, Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don't let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand. Rilke
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